Hello once again guys. So today I write to you at the end of a bank holiday in the UK, and I hope everyone has enjoyed it. So this week, I have been super busy interviewing three people who are self-confessed serial daters. I asked them what this term meant and the replies came together as roughly describing a person who has been actively dating for a few years without being in a relationship during that time. I personally would call this a serial singleton. but I was corrected by the fact that often serial singletons are not actively looking.
Along my interviews, I have found that these people are no different from anyone else, and that none would appear to have any reasons which would contribute to their lack of successful. For example, none have severe disfigurements, nasty smells or are mentally deranged. They are all highly successful within their careers, however, some feel that this is partially to blame for their lack of dating success. They suggest that they spend too many evenings at home working, when they should text back that individual they met at the wine bar last week who they got on with like a house on fire.
This led to me to thinking: what is it that leaves many people unable to transfer a high number of dates into the start of a promising relationship? Well, as said above, these people above thought it was a mix between being over cautious, not focusing enough time on making a transition, aswell as just general life not throwing up the right situations for things to progress. However, one person who went from serial dater to being happily married with a child on the way said that one of these was more important than the others for their change in fortunes.
Liz* was a person who would arrange and attend upwards of 4 dates a week, aswell as working 6 days a week. Like many of us, she went to dates which were, she admits laughing, horrendous. However, she says that atleast one date every 2 weeks would look promising for a second date. However, she said that she would often forget to reply to an invite for a second date and would therefore miss the opportunity. When she went on her first date with the man she has subsequently married, she told me that she actively made time to reply and arrange a second date soon after the first. I would suggest that this is a good idea as leaving it too long between dates could lead to forgetting crucial pieces of information about your date which were important. And from then on, she has been living in a whirlwind, having married the man of her dreams 7 months after meeting.
So what have I learnt from these wonderful people this week, which I can take on my dating journey? Well, firstly, we need to be active, If we like someone we meet on a date, we need to make sure that they know. secondly, the time gap between dates 1 and 2 is important. Leaving it too late could lead to awkwardness or forgetting, and too short a period of time could appear over enthusiastic. But most importantly, when you meet the right person, you will know.
Next week, I have no idea what I will be talking about, but I hope you can join me for some more ramblings about love, life and everything else. Thanks for reading guys. C. x
*names used were changed to protect identities, but information shared in this blog was checked with interviewees before publishing.