“Let’s just be friends”……

Hello again guys. So, I haven’t posted in a while, and today I want to talk about a very sad state of affairs.

Some of you may remember that the last time I posted, I had met a guy who, on paper, was perfect. 110% long-term boyfriend material in my eyes. Well, things have been going swimmingly for a month/a month and a half. Dates were fun, interesting, and never without laughter. Hand holding and cuddles were lovely. In my mind, things were getting pretty good, and I was beginning to fall very hard for this guy.

**** and then those words that no one ever wants to hear were uttered…… “I think we should just be friends”. I mean, eesh. At this point, I am very confused. Did I do something? What is going on in his brain? As if this phrase wasn’t enough, he even pulled out the “it’s not you, it’s me” line. So yesterday (when this was all happening), all the blooming cliches were coming out. I had only, earlier that day, been talking to my best friend about how he was amazing. How I was sure things would pan out with this guy and how I was certain it would be a very serious thing.

When I was having a little cry and shoving a bag of maltesers in my face (I regret nothing), I got to thinking that somewhere along the line, we/I/he obviously got very confused as to how this was meant to carry on haha.

So, where did the wires get crossed? Well, unless I have been a right mug, it must have been after sunday evening, as we went out on a date on sunday (cinema, meal, spot of shopping), and I even met his parents (which to me, and I imagine atleast half the population, is quite a serious step). So at some point between me leaving on sunday evening, and wednesday evening, something went very wrong. And I have no idea what it is.

I think the fact that I don’t know why, or the thought process behind it, is making the situation harder to deal with. I mean, yes i understand that sometimes people just dont click, but I was getting all the right signals from this guy. But I have to come to terms with the fact that he is sticking to the “its just a feeling I have” story, so I will probably never understand it.

Where I go from here? Well, I guess now it is back to the drawing board that is the dating game and wait to see what happens. I have half resigned myself to the idea that 20 years from now, I will still be sat here writing a single life blog. But who knows hey. Only time will tell.

What I will say is that my friends are amazing and have been so supportive since all this hit the fan so I want to say a massive thank you to them for being the best in the world.

See you in my next blog, where I will let you all know what the game plan is now. Thanks for reading.

C, x.

Love is in the little things

Hello once again guys. Today’s ist is very short, but its importance and impact on me is the total opposite. This week has been a quiet one and I have been thinking about love in general. Not just romantic love, but the love I have for family and for friends. I realised many things, including what is worth my time and what is not. However, there was one thing I realised above all else. And it is that which I wish to share with you today. 

Whether it is a love for a mother, for a father, for a grandparent or for a friend, love encompasses everything. Even the little things. And it is the little things which make all the difference. For example, my mum crinkles her nose before she laughs. Its hilarious, but it is also a little nuance which makes the love I have for her unique. The jokes you share with a close friend enhances your friendship and reflects an inner love which cannot be denied. It is the tiny differences between us all which makes each relationship unique, so why would we consider that love is simply a one dimensional thing? 

Furthermore, it occurred to me that love changes and develops with age, maturity, and life situations. You can go through hell and back with a person and nothing could change, but you could also go through hell with another person and that could alter your whole relationship. Just remember readers, there is always a life lesson to learn. As I have said before, we as individuals are always learning, always adapting and always changing. In order for any relationship to work smoothly, there needs to be room for both individuals to undergo these changes and adaptations. Let the relationship be organic and flow as each person discovers something new about themselves. Learn from each situation, and never give up hope. 

Having realised these things this week, it made me reflect on past situations, and I can now go some way in understanding the points of view, struggles and successes of other people. I have been able to accept where I have been wrong, and where there was nothing either party could have done because we had simply outgrown each other. This is a very strong and powerful thought. But I feel that when it is accepted, there is a certain inner peace which resides where once it was simply confusion and disorder when recalling certain situations. 

So this week, remember, every situation has a lesson. Use it to grow as a person, but also remember that the other person needs growing space too. Let your relationship be as flexible as silk in the wind, fluid and forgiving. 

Speak next week. Lots of love, C. X